Written by Lily Galapon
Edited by Anahitha Raffe Sofia
As high school sophomore Angel Suratwala once said, bubbling with the energy of a mediocre YouTube motivational speaker, “You don’t need a gum wrapper, Lily, you have a gum box.” For fun, I played around with the quote in my head, imagining her words as magically wrapped symbolism in the grandeur of life. Of course, the real context was that she had half a stick of gum left, and our (my) third block tradition was to steal a piece. Unfortunately, Angel is in gum poverty today, a tragic economic stance for the second to last day of Civics class. What Angel literally meant, in the adolescent moment, was that I should not have to yearn for another stick of gum; rather, be grateful for the empty gum box I already had at home, of which was originally hers.
Of course, Angel shortly flashed a horrified look to see my fingers start to dance on the keyboard. I, with an excited spirit, love to conjure a grand mountain's mere sentences. “There was no deeper meaning!” She confirmed, not knowing whether to laugh or cry at this essay. Regardless, this essay dives into the synthesized fabrics of my interpretation of Angel’s shortly lived dialogue. Consider my commentary to be humorous, or insightful. Take or steal a piece of gum while you’re reading, and maybe my commentary will pop out to you.
At the start of Angel’s historic remarks, her first phrase followed as, “You don’t need a gum wrapper.” These beginning words may bridge as a metaphor to the grand journey of life, wherein one is inherently free from excess, or unnecessary items. These items, in extended definition, can broadly range from objects, jobs, clubs, extracurriculars, ideas, and ultimately-people. We depend on socio-cognitive processes for the entirety of our lives, through friendships, relationships, and trying to make sense of ourselves. For example, you may face mental damage from being in a course you don’t necessarily have interest in, but were pressured into enrolling in. You can drop out. You don’t have to follow what other people suggest, or “force” you into. Likewise, you can exit a friendship at any time.
I realize now that this is a common experience, with the growth of social media and conversations I’ve encountered throughout the years. It can seem so easy to suddenly disconnect from the social atmosphere, and interconnected relations. However, when faced with the cement of actual history between these relationships, and the social backdrop that one immerses in, it can feel hard for them to break free from a negative bubble.
For instance, I had an ongoing friendship with a peer over a year ago. And taking the time to bond with other people takes a lot of cognition, decision making skills, behavioral interpretation, and emotional energy. To look into ourselves is already confusing enough-for every one of us is complex, whether it be from the plethora of DNA ribbons constantly circulating around us, or the cells in our bodies that build the ability for us to function on a day-to-day scale. And for us to associate, interact, and engage with other people can be extremely difficult as well. It can be hard to figure out another person’s true motives, ideas, or feelings, as we simply cannot fully see through their perspective. We do not have control, or oversight over their thoughts.
So, specifically when it comes to engaging with friendships, it sort of becomes a “guessing game” when the relationship becomes strained. Being interactive with a person who emits negative energy, while seemingly switching to becoming “neutral” or even “nice” on another day can be confusing. Overtime, one can doubt their judgment, and think, “Maybe I’m the problem.” However I was able to eventually exit that friendship. And the way I did it was like ripping off a band-aid. From my perspective, taking action does not have to be slow. Sometimes, you just have to force yourself to go after the visions you have been striving to achieve, whether it be for your goals, dreams, or other personal achievements. When I finally decided that I had enough, I simply stopped talking to this person. It did not have to be a slow departure. What matters is that I finally pulled the lever to immediately leave.
Afterwards, it felt interesting, not feeling pressured or anxious in this friendship anymore. I did not feel the immediate rush of satisfaction. Rather, it registered as the similar feeling when you end school and enter summer, not knowing what to do. But eventually, I became happier, now feeling that I was free from emotional and unnecessary baggage. I had made the right decision.
The gum wrapper represents the idea of voluntary decisions. You don’t have to live with certain items. People tend to forget that they have autonomy over their life-and simply let the days pass over them, as they believe their stance and routine is permanent, embedded, and rigid. I used to think like that, but I now realize that anything can change. And sometimes, you just have to put your mind to it.
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